Friday, October 22, 2010

that such feeelings in my heart. fuck,i cant describe it!

yeah,for the 1st time i admit publicly i have that feeling. i dont know how to describe it. maybe it is love but i dont know what is love. i just have watched a film entitled 'Lagenda budak Setan'. the film was good based on my opinion. an opinion that comes out from a dude that really dislikes love stories. to be honest,i never watch a love story with any girl or guy or family in the cinema. i dont know why but really,i NEVER! and i randomly watched love story a home. but this particular film,make me want to know more about the plot. at 1st,a friend said that this story in good. in my head,i just like 'seriously?'. i just bear the thought in my mind. when too many people telling me the same things and suggest me to watch the film,i just like 'ok,i'll give ot a try'. now,after i have seen it,im stunned. the quality of the picture is good. the view is nice. very a must-watch type film. *sigh* am i too caried away with this film? frankly,i like having a personality conflict right now. the things inside me suddenly having a major breakdown like denying something so badly,my reputation at friends' eye and other things. is this things that bothering me so much back days and until now?

trying to fit in others life and adept the surroundings seems so hard for me. im trying to be a better person right now but when i tell something that i like,she told me that she didnt like it at all plus she hate it. this things keep repeating n vice versa. we are just friends and she want get aong with me but i cant. i told her that i had family,friends and distro to watch for instead of just her. then,i slowly left her cause for what to take the relationship at a next step when she overdemanding attention from me? i also have my life. ya,i know that she afraid to lose me but she have lose me. i dont care if she read this or not but we are just friend. not more than that. it just like,i cannot give her the attention but i have others things to do.

i really feel bad with myself because this is not the 1st time i did it to a girl that like me and i always feel regret after doing it. it just,... *sigh* yes,im too slow to read their hints and grab the opportunity. my dad,always said that 'if there a girl that meant for you,she wont go away although you are busy handling your work. just,keep an eye on her and when have time with her,spent it fully'.

if another girl come and say that she like me,i think i just take her. i dont want to break her heart into pieces like other girls. seriously,i cant forget those past ones but they have move on and i hope they have a happier life. but there is a girl that i like and i've try once but didnt get it. somethings special about her that i cant forget. nah,maybe she already have boyfriend. nevermind,i've try once and dont want push her. hey,i respect other peoples space OK.. :P

ha69,since when do my post become an emo post? hahahaha,fuck!

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